Authors: 2writers4spike aka mabel_marsters & dawnofme
Warning: Mentions of Spike with others.
Betas: seapealsh & slaymesoftly. Thank you so much!
Anticipation: a: a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action b: the act of looking forward ; especially : pleasurable expectation
Summary: Having no idea how it happened, Spike finds himself back in 1977, reeling from a newly acquired soul and more guilt than most could handle. After dodging Drusilla, his main focus is getting back to his own time and back to Buffy in Sunnydale so that he can atone for all he's done. That is, until he sees the newly born slayer in 1981 and goes off in a new direction. Can he stop the events that brought misery to Buffy's life, or will he be forced to watch destiny destroy the woman he loves all over again?
Disclaimer: We own no part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. We write this purely for fun and not financial gain. No infringement of copyright intended.
banner by dawnofme
Finally, Buffy could relax. She smiled at Willow who strolled along side her as they patrolled Wakefield Cemetery.
“We haven’t done this in like forever,” Willow said, swinging her stake.
“I know. With you and Oz attached at the hip and Spike and I seeing so much of each other, this summer has flown by and I think we’ve had what, two good conversations?”
“Well, now that we live in the same dorm building and have some classes together, we should have more time,” the ever optimistic Willow said.
Buffy’s first week of college would have been the week from hell, if it hadn’t been for Spike. He refused to go out in the daytime, but he’d meet her after the sun went down every night and they’d spent time together. Spike was the only one who sympathized with her roommate plight, but she had put off having them meet because the more he heard about the girl, the more angry he got.
The only thing she knew Spike to have some fear of was the still-to-show-themselves Initiative. Because they’d nabbed Spike on campus in his timeline, he couldn’t relax while on the property. Three nights ago Spike had let his guard down and they’d been making out on a bench on campus when Sunday and her vampire family had shown themselves. Between the Slayer and the souled vampire, they’d been able to dust all but Sunday and one of the minions before they ran off. It took the whole Scoobie gang to hunt them down and dispose of them, but now the campus was safe as word got around in the demon population that the Slayer was a student there.
Most of the students were at parties on the first Friday night of the school year, but Buffy just had to get away from the college scene and since Oz was playing a gig and Willow’s roommate was having yet another party, Willow had asked to go along. Spike usually patrolled with her, but he’d said he had something to do and suggested Wakefield Cemetery for her and Willow to check out because he’d heard that there would be activity tonight. So far, however, it had been a quiet night.
“So, how are things going with you and Spike?” Willow asked as they walked the cracked concrete path.
“Really good. I haven’t had a boyfriend this long since Angel, but this is way better.”
Willow bumped her hip and grinned. “Have you guys…?”
“Willow!” Buffy laughed but shook her head. “Spike keeps saying he wants to take it slow.”
“You need to remind him that while he’s practically immortal, you aren’t.”
“I have. I’ve tried the ‘I’m not getting any younger’ line, but he just smiles and tells me to be patient. I get the feeling he thinks I’m going to change my mind about wanting to be with him.”
She couldn’t tell Willow that it was because they’d been enemies in Spike’s real timeline and according to him, Buffy had never really let herself love him back then, even after they had been together. It was very confusing for her and sometimes she felt like she was paying for the sins of some other girl -- that it was her, but not her. None of that mattered when they were together. Spike made all of their dates special and more importantly, he made her feel special.
Their only bone of contention was Giles. There had been no evidence yet of the Initiative and Willow and Oz were still very much together. Buffy was sure Spike was telling the truth and that it was like he said, and these things were still going to happen, but Giles was like a bulldog. He refused to be courteous to Spike and Spike wisely stayed out of the man’s way as much as possible. But she hated that they didn’t get along. She wanted everyone in her circle to like each other.
At least her mother liked Spike. He’d been over to dinner twice a week during the summer. And sometimes Buffy felt out of place and even a little jealous, as they talked about music and movies that were way before her time.
“How are things going with Kathy?” Willow asked and then practically shrank back at the glare Buffy sent her way.
“If she plays “Believe” one more time, I think I just might have to kill a bit—”
“I know you think I’m over reacting, but I’m not. She’s insane!”
After stalling to take a look at her watch, Willow said, “Look at the time. One o’clock already! We should head back.”
“But I didn’t get to kill anything yet,” Buffy said, knowing that she was pouting.
That was another thing that Spike understood. Her need for violence. This summer, she’d had such a fun time being the Slayer. Spike was always encouraging her to embrace her lot in life. To not feel guilty for liking the violence. He made her feel as if she wasn’t a freak and he was right. Just because she liked the violence sometimes didn’t make her just as bad as the bad guys. Now, if she could just get a handle on her anger with her roommate, she could believe it all the time.
The two girls went their separate ways once they were inside the dorm building and Buffy slowly took the stairs, dreading her room. If she were lucky, maybe Kathy would be asleep. But no such luck. As she got to her room level, she could hear “Believe” coming out of the open door. Suddenly, Kathy was scurrying out with a cardboard box in her arms.
“Kathy?” Buffy asked as the girl breezed by her, looking as if she’d seen a ghost.
Quickening her steps, Buffy entered the room and then stopped dead. Spike was resting on her bed with his arms crossed behind his head on the pillow.
“Evening, love. Have a nice time with Red tonight?”
“What?” Buffy let her jaw hang open and turned slightly to point at the door.
She couldn’t believe that he had braved even coming into the dorms with the Initiative supposedly crawling all over campus, disguised as college students. Much less that Kathy was moving out all of a sudden.
“Oh, that?” Spike sat up and patted the spot next to him. She sat down and leaned into him and as was his habit, he put his arm around her. “Your little pain in the arse roommate happens to be a demon from another dimension.”
“Yeah. It takes a demon to know one, though usually you’re pretty good at spotting them too. She’s just very good at blending in.”
“I knew she was evil!” Buffy stood as Kathy rushed back into the room, but Spike grabbed her hand and yanked her back down.
“She’s leaving and not coming back, right?” Spike said with menace in his voice.
“Yes. I’m going. This is the last box,” the flustered demon girl said.
She turned to leave, but Buffy got out of Spike’s grip.
“Wait!” The Slayer hurried to the small fridge and gathered a bunch of items into her arms. “Take this crap with you.” She dumped them into the box. “And for the love of all that is good,” Buffy said while ripping the CD player cord out of the wall, “take this with you too.”
Kathy ran out of the room, her box overflowing with food and electronics, and didn’t look back.
Buffy turned to Spike who looked very pleased with himself. She took a long look around at the half empty closest, the bare mattress and the clean walls on that side of the room. It was such a relief to have her gone, that she almost let it go, but she had to ask, “Why am I not slaying her?”
“Except for the occasional soul sucking, her kind are harmless to humans. And she’s hitching a ride back home in a few minutes. All I had to do was threaten to alert the Initiative and she couldn’t get out of here fast enough. That and the fact that I informed her that you are the one demon hunter powerful enough to end her existence.”
“Is this what you had planned for the night? To go behind my back and take care of my roommate problem?”
“Actually, I was just going to come round and see if she was as bad as you said she was. Maybe scare her a little.”
Buffy put her hands on her hips as he got up and shut the door and locked it with a click. “How come you didn’t know my roommate was going to turn out to be a demon?”
“Wasn’t topside when you started college. In fact, I was under the city, digging for treasure.” He held up the hand with the Gem on it.
The way he was looking at her made her stomach flip as if she’d just taken the plunge down a huge hill on a roller coaster. Her heart began to race when he stalked forward, his eyes half closed as he bit his lip.
“So, it looks like you have this place all to yourself now, yeah?”
“It looks that way.” Her voice hitched at the first touch of his hands on her hips.
For half a second, the cocky vampire was gone and insecurity shone through in his incredible eyes. And then it was gone, replaced with seductive Spike.
“Mind if I stay?” he asked, glancing down the front of her shirt.
“Just try to leave and see how far you get.”
Her hands shook as she helped him out of his duster, but there was no way she was turning back now. She’d been wanting this to happen for a very long time and if he was ready, then so was she.
Spike took hold of the collar of her jacket and gently pulled her to him. The kiss he gave her was soft and almost reverent. She tried to deepen the kiss and let out a frustrated sound when he pulled back.
Buffy could tell that he was aching inside, that something was eating him up. She marveled at how fast his emotions could change.
“Do you trust me?” he suddenly asked.
“Yes. I trust you, Spike.” She let her hands wander over his t-shirt covered chest. “I know you think it’s too soon for me to say, but I don’t just trust you, I’m falling in love with you.”
With his eyes squeezed shut, he tilted his head back and sucked in some air, his chest shuddering under her palm. Finally, he stared at her and said, “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”
“Just shut up and kiss me, please.”
He returned her smile before he captured her lips with his own. All thought of who was more nervous, who deserved who, and if she was doing things right fled as his tongue met hers. His natural scent mixed with the fresh mint from the last Tic Tac he’d eaten had her senses reeling. Adding to this, he deftly began to remove her clothes and moved them little by little towards her small bed.
Just managing to get his t-shirt over his head, Buffy turned with him and found herself in his lap as he sat down. She wanted to go faster, to pull him back up and get his jeans off, but Spike seemed to be in no hurry. He reached behind her and undid the clasps to her bra.
“Relax,” Spike whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Let me make you feel good.”
Every nerve ending in her body tingled at the slightest contact and once she was bare from the waist up and they were touching, skin to skin, her breathing became erratic. God, he felt so good. Pressing closer to him, she ran her hands up and down his smooth back and kissed his neck, just below his ear.
The sounds coming from his chest and throat emboldened her and she tugged on his ear lobe with her teeth. Buffy thought she’d done something wrong when he suddenly moved her to his side, but then he was standing up and her eyes were transfixed on Spike’s hands as he undid his belt and pulled his jeans below his hips. She reached out to touch him, her eyes widening, and was equally thrilled by the feel on him in her hands and the hiss of pleasure he made at the contact.
Soon, they were squeezed together on her twin-sized bed under the sheets. She was surprised at how nervous she was, but at the same time she felt like she was home being enveloped in his arms, kissing him passionately, and hearing his soft words of encouragement as she explored his body.
Propped above her, with their thighs touching, he leaned his head down and softly kissed her before saying, “I love you.”
Buffy tensed up at first and then she was swept away by the sensations she was feeling as they moved together. Sensations that mirrored the intensity of her feelings for Spike. She knew it was possible, but still wasn’t prepared for the pleasure that rocked through her body a few minutes later. They clung together as her breathing slowed and she didn’t want to let go. Not ever. She’d never felt this close to anyone in her life and she didn’t want it to be over.
“You can let go now, Kitten. I don’t want to crush you.”
“Sorry,” she said softly, reluctantly loosening her grip on him.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He rolled to the side and turned her towards him. “Are you okay?”
She glanced at the ceiling, a slow smile spreading across her face. “I think I’m more than okay.”
His relieved sigh had her turning back to him and she found herself in his embrace once again. Spike kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Is it always like that?” she asked as they settled with her head on his chest.
“No. It’s only going to get better. And there are so many things we’re going to do together. It will never get old and it won’t always be just like this.”
Spike caressed Buffy’s arm and they were silent for a long time. He couldn’t believe where he was or how incredible it was to make love to her and get her love back. For the first time in his existence, Spike felt really good. The physical and the emotional had lined up and the world was a great place. He had a hard time taming his thoughts. He wanted to get up and go pull down the moon for her, he wanted to buy her a mansion, cover her in jewels and keep her naked in their bed for the rest of their lives.
“I met that guy, Parker, that you warned me about, today at breakfast,” she said, out of the blue.
“Please tell me you kicked him in the bollocks and stole his breakfast money.”
With a giggle, she said, “No. I didn’t do that, but I gave him the cold shoulder and he seemed surprised. Like he’s not used to girls ignoring him.” Tilting her head up to make eye contact with Spike, she asked, “What did he do that was so bad, anyways?”
“Not saying anything specific, but like I said before, he’s a player and a liar. Warn all your little friends to stay clear of him.”
She stretched her neck to kiss him and then she smiled, trust written all over her face. “Got it. The female population should stay clear of him. And speaking of guys to stay clear of, I’ve been watching Riley in class and I’m having a hard time believing that he and Professor Walsh are anything but teacher and teacher’s aide.”
“Please believe me. They are very bad news. In fact, don’t even have eye contact with them if you can help it.”
Her arm tightened around him. “All right. I’ll avoid them at all costs. For now. But if what you say about them is true, something is going to have to done about them. And soon.”
“Truer words… And I plan to very involved in taking that lot down.” She frowned up at him. “Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to get all growly, but up until now, it’s been all about you and making sure you have a wonderful happy life, but this thing with the Initiative? Well, it’s personal.”Chapter Twenty-One</span></p>