Authors: 2writers4spike aka mabel_marsters & dawnofme
Warning: Mentions of Spike with others.
Betas: seapealsh & slaymesoftly. Thank you so much!
Anticipation: a: a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action b: the act of looking forward ; especially : pleasurable expectation
Summary: Having no idea how it happened, Spike finds himself back in 1977, reeling from a newly acquired soul and more guilt than most could handle. After dodging Drusilla, his main focus is getting back to his own time and back to Buffy in Sunnydale so that he can atone for all he's done. That is, until he sees the newly born slayer in 1981 and goes off in a new direction. Can he stop the events that brought misery to Buffy's life, or will he be forced to watch destiny destroy the woman he loves all over again?
Disclaimer: We own no part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. We write this purely for fun and not financial gain. No infringement of copyright intended.
banner by dawnofme
The door to Spike’s crypt flew open hard enough to make the top hinge come loose and it wobbled lopsidedly as the Slayer raced inside.
“Bloody hell!” roared Spike, leaping to his feet, forgetting for the moment that he was in the middle of a Passions marathon on the TV. He pointed to the door. “Look what you’ve done! And it is bleeding polite to knock you know – you can’t just—”
Buffy prodded him in the chest. “Shut up, Spike.”
“Ow,” he grumbled, rubbing his chest. If her finger had been a stake, he would have been dust right now. He smiled affectionately. The Slayer’s aim was true even when she wasn’t trying. Glancing back at the door, his smile faded. “As I was saying – you can’t just come in here and wreck my home – or I’ll start returning the favour.”
Hands on hips, Buffy glared at him. “What part of shut up don’t you understand?”
Spike began to bristle at her words. Was the Slayer destined to be shirty with him all the time, no matter what he did to change things for her? He had to stand up to her – he loved her but he needed her respect. Last time round he’d gotten her in his arms and his bed but there was little in the way of respect or love from Buffy.
“Now look h—”
“I need you to come with me, Spike. We’ve got trouble – big trouble.”
His demeanour changed abruptly. “What do you need me to do?”
“You’ve got to come with me – now! It’s Giles.” Buffy’s expression made the pit of his stomach grow cold.
“Love, what is it? What’s wrong?”
He ran through his memories. Had anything bad happened to Giles that he’d forgotten about? Angelus had tortured him but with Angel gone that had never happened. Was it like they said on those stupid sci-fi shows that he’d never own up to watching – that destiny struggles to reassert itself – that it doesn’t like being manipulated? Looking at the state of the teenager in front of him, Spike guessed it must be something truly awful.
Buffy sniffed a couple of times, blinking back tears that she refused to let fall. “He…he…”
“Come on, pet, spit it out. How bad can it be?” Cursing himself inwardly for saying such a stupid thing when living on top of the Hellmouth, he held his breath.
“He knows all about you and wants to see you right away!” Buffy blurted.
Spike laughed. It started as a chuckle and then grew into a deep belly laugh that made him lean against a tomb to keep upright. Tears rolled down his face.
“It’s not funny!” yelled Buffy. “He’s read about you in his Watcher’s Dairies and says I’ve got to stake you!”
Spike hiccoughed a couple of times as he tried to stem his mirth, and finally wheezing slightly managed to stand upright.
“I’m sorry. It’s just I thought when you came in here like a bleeding tornado.” He scowled at his door. “That there was an apocalypse or something serious.”
Buffy stood with her hands on her hips. “It is serious, Spike. I’m the Slayer. It is my sacred duty to kill vampires, and he expects me to do it.”
Leaning back against the tomb, Spike met Buffy’s eye. “Did you tell him about the soul, love?”
“What do you think?” Buffy threw her hands in the air and turned away from him. “Of course I told him!”
“And?” Spike said quietly, though he could guess the answer already.
“He didn’t believe me.” She turned back to face him. “He thinks you’re lying. That you’re an evil soulless thing and you should be killed.”
Spike couldn’t help but flinch at her words. Even after so long after the words were first thrown at him they still seared.
He pushed himself off the tomb and walked to his coat, hands fumbling in his pocket until he found his cigarettes. The ritual of pulling one out of the pack and lighting up soothed him.
“So why did you tell him?” he asked reasonably.
“I didn’t,” sighed Buffy, flopping down in his one comfortable armchair. “Xander did.”
Spike rolled his eyes. Knew I should have drained the git when Angel offered him to me back in the day. Bloody pain in the arse – that’s what he is. Clenching his fists, he suppressed the urge to growl in frustration.
“Look, why are you so bothered by it? You’re not going to stake me, are you?” He backed up a step just in case.
Buffy shook her head, and looked up at him with wide tear filled eyes.
“So there’s no problem, is there?”
Swallowing hard he moved a little further away. God, he wanted to sweep her up into his arms and smother her with kisses, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t time yet. He was afraid that it never would be and had done his best to avoid the Slayer as much as possible since they’d kissed that night. Now here she was in his crypt, gazing up at him with eyes that made his guts tie themselves in knots.
He coughed. “So I don’t need to go see the prick, do I?”
“But…” Buffy wiped at her eyes and sniffed a couple of times. “No, it doesn’t matter.”
“Nothing!” Buffy got up abruptly and strode to the doorway. “Just go to see him!”
“Don’t leave me hanging. But what?” Spike called out after her, tossing his cigarette to the floor and grinding it out with his heel.
Shaking her head Buffy jogged out into the sun. “But I want him to like you,” she muttered.
Inside the crypt, Spike’s face split into a grin. “She wants him to like me! Means she likes me!” His smile faded. Things were still going to be complicated. He knew how protective Giles was of his charge.
He grabbed his coat and switched off the TV. “Sod bloody Passions. I need a drink!” He stalked to the corner of his crypt, went to the lower level and dropped down into the tunnels. Willy’s was accessible from them. The door to the sewers was used more than the one to the street.
When dusk fell, Spike sauntered out of Willy’s and headed for The Bronze. He preferred to mix with humans these days – they didn’t smell quite as bad as the demon crowd – well most of them didn’t.
In his favorite seat, nursing his JD, Spike watched the kids below and smiled sadly at the memory of how he would have once happily hunted in this environment. He’d come to terms with his past sins and realized that he wasn’t to blame. The demon was stronger than he was and it revelled in its need for blood. Spike had to admit that life was a whole lot simpler in those days.
“Is this seat taken?” A voice said brightly.
“Not looking for company, thanks,” he replied without taking his eyes from the scene below.
“Do you know how lame it is to sit on your own in a club?”
The chair beside him squeaked as the owner of the voice sat down.
Sighing and cursing the fact that he was just so bloody good looking that girls couldn’t help themselves, Spike turned around and then gasped.
“Harm!” The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it.
“Ooh! You know my name!” Harmony bounced up and down in her seat. “I told Cordelia that you were totally checking me out and she so didn’t believe me. But you know my name!”
“Um…I know a lot of girls’ names,” mumbled Spike, his mind racing at the thought of how he could get away from her.
“Yes, but you were staring at me!” Harmony leaned in closely, her blonde hair falling forwards and her breast almost falling out of her shiny pink top. She ran her fingers over her cleavage. “You’re staring at me now,” she breathed.
Quickly averting his eyes, Spike grunted and stood up. “Can’t help but stare when the bloody things are almost crawling out of your blouse.”
“That’s mean.” Harmony’s voice trembled and made Spike feel like a total git.
“Look, I’m sorry, pet. It’s just…well….I’ve got a girlfriend, and aren’t you a little young?” Spike turned to look at her. She’s prettier with a bit of color in her cheeks.
“I’m not a kid!” retorted Harmony, eyes flashing. “I’m graduating high school this year.
“That’s great. What I meant was that I’m too old for you. You need to find a nice boy your own age.” What, like Buffy should? A little voice in his head added.
Harmony might be daft but she wasn’t stupid and could tell a brush off when she heard one. She stood up, tossed her hair and scowled at him.
“You know, up close, you’re not a hottie at all!” She stomped off, the heels of her silver sandals clicking on the floor.
“That’s my Harm,” chuckled Spike.
He watched as she rejoined her friends and as one they turned to glare at him.
Oh, yeah. I’m still the big bad.
He sobered as he tried to remember what had happened on Graduation Day. That’s when she’d been turned. Something to do with a snake. God knows he’d listened to her bleat on about it for so long.
His eyes widened and he gripped the balcony rail to steady himself. He hadn’t taken much notice because he’d been too busy and had only let her shack up with him for the convenience of a shag on tap whenever he felt like one. He’d been too busy working with his crew to find…
“The Gem of Amara!”
He bent down and picked up his glass, downing its contents in one. He knew where it was. How could he have totally forgotten about it until now? In his first time around, he had only spent a few days in Sunnydale after Dru had dumped him in Brazil. Spike grinned when he thought of how he’d clobbered Xander – after what he’d told Giles he would have happily hit the kid again.
“Focus, Spike,” he muttered.
It would be a whole lot safer to go to see Giles with that ring on his finger – the guy had never liked him. Plus, he’d be able to help Buffy so much more if he could go out in the sun.
Spike nodded. That’s what he’d do. He’d get the Gem and then see what he could find out about this bloody snake or whatever it was that caused mayhem at the graduation.
Discarding the glass, he jogged down the stairs and out of The Bronze, unaware of the glowers he was subjected to by Harmony and Co.